For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a pretty reactive person—but that was before. You know those moments when something happens, and you feel yourself just reacting before you’ve even processed what’s going on? I’ve had plenty of those. Like the time I snapped at a friend over a small comment they made, only to feel a wave of regret right after. Or the times I've felt a surge of stress from work spill over into my home life. It was like my emotions were calling the shots, and I was just along for the ride.
But recently, when I started working under Ignatius, I started learning about emotional awareness and how, by pausing before reacting, we can create more control over how we respond. At first, I thought it sounded almost too simple. How could a tiny pause make a difference? But I was curious, and honestly, I needed a change, so I decided to give it a shot.
Reflecting on Becoming Aware of My Emotions
The first step was getting in tune with what I was feeling. Turns out, this isn’t as easy as it sounds! I’d never realized how much I ignored my emotions or just let them take over without examining them. So I started paying attention—paying attention. When I felt myself getting frustrated or anxious, I’d take a second to ask, “What exactly am I feeling right now?”
One day at work, I got a message from a friend of my client that was worded a little harshly, and I could feel that familiar wave of defensiveness creeping up. My initial urge was to fire back an equally curt response. But I stopped myself and thought, “Okay, what’s going on here?” I realized that it wasn’t just the message. I’d had a stressful morning and was running on little sleep, and that message just happened to be the final straw. Recognizing this helped me respond more calmly instead of letting my pent-up frustration lead the way.
Practicing the Pause
Learning to pause was a game-changer. It sounds small, but for me, it’s been huge. When I feel that instinct to react, I try to take a beat—a breath, even. Just that little space helps me get some perspective. Sometimes, I find that a deep breath is enough to reset my brain and calm me down.
Recently, I was having a heated discussion with a family member. I felt myself starting to get defensive and was this close to saying something I knew I’d regret. Instead, I took a pause, breathed, and thought, “Do I want to say this, or is it just the frustration talking?” That pause allowed me to choose my words more carefully, and in the end, it made the whole conversation go much smoother. No regrets.
The Surprising Benefits
I’m still learning, but I’ve noticed some real changes. First, my relationships have improved. Pausing before I react has made my interactions less tense and more genuine. I’m also less stressed because I’m not carrying around the weight of regret after a blow-up. And I feel more in control of myself, knowing I can choose how to respond, rather than feeling like my emotions are steering the ship.
But the biggest surprise? I feel more confident. Knowing that I can handle situations without immediately reacting has given me a sense of calm that I didn’t expect. I feel better equipped to deal with challenges, even when things get tough.
Takeaways
Learning to pause and practice emotional awareness has been a journey. I still have slip-ups, but each day I get a little better at it. Here’s what’s been helping me:
Notice the Body Signals: I’ve found that my body often reacts before my mind does—my shoulders tense, my heart races. Recognizing these cues has been my early warning system to slow down.
Name the Emotion: It sounds simple, but putting a label on my feelings (“I feel anxious” or “I feel annoyed”) gives me clarity and stops me from acting on autopilot.
Take a Breath: Even one deep breath can make a difference. I’m learning that this little reset is often enough to change my perspective at the moment.
Reflect: After a tough situation, I take a minute to think back on how I handled it. Did I pause? Could I have responded differently? Reflecting helps me improve over time.
Final Thoughts
Emotional awareness isn’t about ignoring feelings or avoiding tough situations. For me, it’s about understanding what I’m feeling and giving myself a moment to choose my response. And it’s making all the difference. I’m not perfect, and I still react impulsively sometimes. But learning to pause has helped me feel more present, more patient, and more in control of my life.
If you have ever felt the weight of reactive emotions, I strongly encourage you to give this a try. That small pause, seemingly insignificant, can transform everything, one moment at a time.
And I recommend trying out Coach Ignatius's Emotions-Based Coaching Session. I know that it will help you as much as it helps me in my life now, a decision that you won’t regret.
Reflections by Bev Cuayzon
Bev, a devoted mother at heart, finds joy in working from home. Balancing her roles as a travel consultant, self-published author, and SEO analyst, she's deeply passionate about sharing her knowledge to empower others, particularly fellow mothers. During her journey, Bev discovered the importance of mental wellness. She realized that maintaining a healthy mind is essential for navigating the demands of work, family, and personal pursuits. |
Comments